Published 11th February 2015
Who should you be staying with - lessons from Sam Smith...
Just thinking about collecting 4 grammy's makes me feel a little exhausted so when I think about what Sam Smith, at the age of 22, must have done to actually receive them, and deserve them, I feel totally inspired and in awe of the British artist that seems to have taken the world by storm.
As with many business owners and entrepreneurs, I work relentlessly in hope of my moment - and it arguably won't be as glamorous as the grammy's but I work in hope of a day where I get a cheque, an offer or even an email from a client that makes me know I've done it. I trust that at some point in the future, I will reach a moment when I will know I have made my dreams a reality and like Sam, I probably will spend much of my time spontaneously bursting into tears. This week, I have been wondering what the secret to success is and with theories that vary from practising one thing for a thousand hours to working a four hour week, I realise I am unlikely to ever reach a conclusion.
Yet, during one of his four acceptance speeches, Sam did say something that stuck with me. Sam said, 'it was only when I started to be myself that the music started to flow', and that got me to thinking, how exactly did you get to a stage where you can just be yourself? It sounds so simple yet arguably is one of the biggest challenges in the world and probably one of the most rewarding to crack.
Firstly, I wanted a definition of when I am myself and I realised that I am myself when I am content, when I am relaxed and when there is no nagging in my head telling me that I should be somewhere else, doing something else for someone else. I am most myself when I am just in a moment, whatever it may be. I know I am myself when I am in work mode, when I am really in the flow of things and, probably like this article, stuff just happens but how do I get there? Well, its 01:48am - my husband is in bed, my telly has been turned off and I probably clicked into top gear about twenty minutes ago - when I had nothing or no one to distract me. I also know that my walk with the dog, which happens every day, plays a key role in being myself. It's a 45 minute walk, the same route every day and regardless of the time of day, it is just me, my dog and a poop bag - no phone, no ipod, no distractions - just me - and I find that 45 minutes is just enough for me to process the day. I walk up hill first - to thrash the day out, to have a fight with my thoughts and to stamp out the frustrations of the day and towards the end of the walk - when we stop at a little green, I am totally relaxed and that is when the good stuff starts happening in my brain.
I am reasonably fortunate with regards to my lifestyle - I work for myself, I can work anywhere where I can take my laptop and I have a husband that supports me with every ounce of his being. I don't have any commitments and I earn a reasonable salary so I can make sure I find 'me time' and therefore find myself.
But what about you? What do you do to find yourself? Do you even know who you really are? I went to Thailand alone for a few months, about 10 years ago now and when I got off the plane, it shocked me that I had no idea what I wanted to do and that largely because I didn't know anything about who I really was. I appreciate the Thailand might be a bit extreme, a dog walk might be far more practical - but this is my point, when you find you, when you feel content and relaxed and let your brain go to a place where it can just 'flow', you are making grammy's possible in your world. You can dare to dream, you can imagine, you can be inspired and your natural talents, whatever they are, will flourish.
So if Sam Smith can teach you anything, remember that you should 'stay with me' and that the only person you should be singing that to, is yourself - whilst you are going for a walk, sitting in a sauna or like me, enjoying the calm of the middle of the night.
If you need ideas to help you find you time or try something new that might help you let your talents flow, check out our spa & treatments section for lots of wonderfully relaxing and affordable treats.
Written by Charlotte Taylor - Qualified psychologist & Entrepreneur
