Published 14th February 2015
The story of self indulgence on Valentines Day.
This is the first year that I am a ‘wife’ and I suppose the days of sulking because I knew I would have to rely on my dad to get me a card and a bunch of flowers are a distant memory. However, for my first Valentines Day as a wife, my husband has promised to fix our washing machine and my biggest excitement comes from where I am going to get our dine in for two from.
I suppose to the women that are looking for ‘the one’, I am one of the lucky ones this Valentine’s Day whilst I suspect that the couples in the honeymoon phase, all romance and love letters, think they will never end up like us. To me, i suppose its just another day and like all other days, I will have a few minutes where I stop and feel thankful for all the love I have in my life and our ‘Taylor Trio’ which is me, my husband and our dog.
For me, the best Valentine’s gift was hearing the words, ‘Mr Grey will see you now’ and as I sat in the cinema, alone, with a take out coffee and croissant, with my phone and laptop off, I felt totally spoilt. I went to the first showing at my local cinema, I went alone and I was wearing my ‘slob out’ reserved normally for Sunday’s and sick days. I knew my husband was at home, fixing said washing machine, I knew work could wait for a few hours and as I got ready for the opening credits to roll, I felt totally content, entirely happy and incredibly comfortable in my own company. For me, not to be anxious, not to be over analysing, not to be second guessing or checking my phone constantly to see if they object of my affections had text me back, is both miraculous and marvellous and taking note of it made me smile from ear to ear.
My self decided Valentines treat was entirely self indulgent but in honesty, on Valentine’s Day I think it is as important to celebrate being loved as it is to give love and I don’t think it always has to be about romance. Today, I laughed until I ached with a girlfriend whilst I was walking to the cinema, I spent over an hour playing with my dog and most importantly, I spent some time with me. One of the most important things about love, is taking the time to be grateful of it. To take notice, to appreciate all the small things people in your lives do every day to let you know you are valued and I think that on Valentine’s Day, whether you are single, married, totally in love or desperate to find the ‘one’, you should sit back and smell the roses.
I don’t need my husband to give me a card to tell me he loves me, although I know he will. And we don’t really need a reason to be nice to one another - we are pretty good at doing that often. Before I met Mr T, I didn’t need an excuse to go out with my friends and drown my sorrows. I didn’t need to be provided with another reason to stress out about finding love was totally unrequired and I certainly didn’t need any support to notice all the people around me that seemed to have found what I was looking for.
Valentine’s Day sets an expectation and in my experience, expectation often leads to disappointment. I wonder how many women will spend this weekend feeling frustrated because their partners didn’t get them the overpriced roses. I wonder how many men will feel disappointed when their girl doesn’t call. Yet most importantly, I wonder how many people will miss the point because they are too busy expecting stuff.
So, this is what I think everyone should do on Valentine’s Day - regardless of your relationship status or regard for the day. Do something for you - whether it be a walk, a coffee, a trip to the cinema or a trip to the spa - and whilst you are doing that thing, think about all of the love that is around you, in its various guises. Think about all the things people do every day and then enjoy it. Feel thankful, feel blessed, let your insides feel warm and your toes feel wiggly. For love is what we all want, and need but the majority of us, will already have it in abundance. So forget the expectation, ignore the big things and notice, remember and appreciate the little things that happen every day of the year when you are too busy to notice them.
By Charlotte Taylor: Our super writer
